Amethyst Dawn
by Valentine'sMemory
Summary: Where Reno looses his not so secret love, his mind and his heart. Along the way, he gains another love. Rated M because it could get a leeetle dirty with blood, language and Yaoi and Reno/VincentxOC
1. The Incident

_It's a small idea I've had for a while. Basically, Reno's depression, and his dependence on an animal, and the strength of a love he shouldn't hold. Rate and review peepies :] _

…

_It was a curse. A horrible curse. She had to watch through another's eyes as her fiancée searched for her, as her best friend lost his footing and as her daughters sunk into a bad way. But she was bound to another. She couldn't help. She was stuck. And they were in a state of disrepair._

Reno whizzed round in his chair, and sighed heavily. It was dark outside, and besides the lamp on his desk, the entire room was dark. He was behind on his paper work, which meant he had his boss snapping at his heels.

He stared around the room, and looked at the clock. The hall was dark, so he wheeled his chair to the doorway of the office. Peering out, a sliver of light hit his face. He rolled his eyes and rolled back to sit behind his desk. After another hour, he was finally finished. Hitting the print button, he leant back with his arms behind his head, looking pretty chuffed with himself.

He all but skipped down the hall to hand in his work, proud of himself that he had gotten it finished. But he hesitated in the doorway.

Sarjah was hunched over, her hair scraped back into a messy bun. It looked like a ball of frayed fire on the back of her head. Her glasses made her face look small, the thick black frames surrounding the beautiful fuchsia coloured eyes. Her porcelain skin was stretched over stunning structure, and he just wanted to reach out and softly brush.

"I finished the mission reports you sent back to me Ma'am." He mumbled, and gently set them down on her desk. She looked up on him, and he got a very good view of her cleavage through her partially unbuttoned shirt. He knew better than to look. Last time, she had made him clean the SOLDIER changing rooms. And that had been VERY unpleasant.

"Thank you, Reno. You can go home now." She murmured and sat back, tapping her pen on the desk. He nodded once, and started to back out of the room.

"Yes Ma'am. See you tomorrow."

She nodded once, and he scuttled out as fast as he could. He couldn't wait to get home. He glanced back, and caught sight of his boss. She was slumped over the desk again, her fingers splayed on her forehead as she read over a mission report. She looked stressed, but if she wanted help, she would have asked when he was in there.

He broke through the doors of the front entrance and pulled his jacket tight around him. He shivered and gazed up at the sky. It was a Full Moon, and he could see millions of Stars scattered above his head against an inky black backdrop. He sighed gently, and tilted his head back to watch a plane flicker its way across the sky. The breeze lifted the bright red hair and toyed with it, running its ice cold fingers through his long locks.

The walk home seemed to take forever. But when he got home, he was glad to feel the wall of warmer air hit him. He leant on his door way, and inhaled the familiar scent of cigarette smoke, aftershave and a vague hint of perfume from his latest conquest.

Flicking on the light, he gazed around the hall way and smiled softly. As he kicked off his shoes, he jabbed the flashing button on his answer machine to relay the call he had waiting for him.

"_Reno, its Zack. I wanted to ask if you're still up for helping me get everything ready for Sarjah's birthday do. And, I wanted to know, what's going down at the Turk's office. She seems a bit down."_

Reno rolled his eyes and turned away, heading straight to the kitchen while humming along to James Blunt's _Stay The Night_.

"Mixin' Vodka with Caffine." He crooned, and wiggled his hips as he stuck the kettle on to boil and threw a microwave meal in the machine and set it on for four and a half minutes and turned back to the kettle.

He was in his own little world, and nothing could possibly bother him.

The shrill noise of the phone woke him up, and he jerked his head up suddenly. He stared around the room blearily, and swore when he saw that it was barely two in the morning.

"What, yo? It's like…early." He breezed, expecting Sarjah's familiar voice. Instead, he got Rufus Shinra himself.

"Get up, Reno. Start the cascade system; get Elena, Rude, Cissnei and Savannah in. We have a situation."

"Can you tell me what's happened, Sir?"

"I cannot disclose that down the phone. I am sending the Co-Ordinates to your handheld. Meet us there as soon as possible."

With that, he hung up and Reno lifted his head off the pillow. Joining the other Turk's, he could feel his stomach churning. He could feel the nerves bubbling up in him. But nothing could prepare him for what he saw.

There was a car in the ditch. But it hadn't been there previously. It was a wreck, a write off. The windows were all smashed and shattered, and the glass was littered across the road. The metal of the car frame was all twisted, and had huge impacts where the car had hit several solid objects. Elena was standing by the ditch, her face pale and tears burning in her eyes.

"What the hell happened here yo?"

"No one knows. There were no witnesses. But we found these personal effects. It was Sarjah's car. Her blood is all over the front but no one can find her. Rude and Cissnei are controlling a sweep of the area, and Savannah has taken a team to the nearest towns and ringing around the Hospital's but…nothing. SOLDIER is on its way, and… Zack's going to go mad."

She stared at him, the round blue eyes betraying what she thought inside: that their boss was dead. Sarjah was frail, as a horrific disease wracked her body. Yet her Majik made up for it, and enabled her to continue working. But no one would be able to survive a crash like that. It would be a miracle if she survived the initial impact.

He shook his head sadly and closed his eyes. Turning his head away, he felt the grief stab at his body. He inhaled deeply, and opened his eyes again, surveying the scene ahead of him. Paramedic's leant idly against the side of their flashing truck, firemen concentrated on dragging the car out of the ditch and Rufus was standing by his car, screaming angrily at someone on the other end of the phone.

He looked back at Elena, who had returned to what she was previously supposed to be doing, and taking pictures of the evidence scattered around the floor. Reno joined her to speed the job along, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rufus Shinra bow his head and wipe his eyes.

Sarjah, in some freak incident, turned out to be Rufus' daughter. But they had told only a few people, only a select handful of others. Reno was one of the few that knew. And he knew that it must be killing the blonde.

_She was knelt in the middle of the rode, and her head was yanked back. Long, leather clad fingers were twisted in the silky blonde hair. She was pale, and her eyes were wide and her skin was so pale, it could be mistaken for snow. _

_She stared up into the face of a male she knew only too well. He kicked the back of her legs, and she fell to her knees. She narrowed her eyes into fearless slits, and she growled menacingly. _

_Professor Hojo just laughed, and the knife at her throat pressed closer into her skin, piercing it and forcing a bead of blood to roll down into the deep grove of her collar bone. _

"_You don't deserve this life. You are nothing more than a disgusting lab rat."_


	2. Not Letting Go

The animal stood stock still, her ears flicking gently. She was odd to look at, but very beautiful. A black haired, stoic man stood at her head, holding her lead rope tightly. His knuckles were white, as if he thought she was about to bolt.

Reno swaggered into view, his hands stuffed in his pocket, but the confidence wavered a little at the sight of the animal that stood beside his boss. He faltered, and flinched at the evil little smile on the black man's face.

"Bossman?" 

"Meet your new friend Reno. As you know, for the past year, we have had a Mounted Unit. And for that year, Rufus has asked me to dispatch a member of my team to this Unit. And I have had enough of you Reno. You're disruptive and destructive behaviour has gone too far."

He handed the lead rope over to the red head, and walked past him, with his arms held behind her back.

"Tseng! This is unfair yo!" He called, spinning round. The black haired man turned, shrugged and nodded to the horse.

"This is your new project Reno. If your behaviour improves, I'll take you back."

Reno stood, and looked at the mare beside him. She was a pretty thing. Her coat was pure white, and gleaming. Her mane and tail were the deepest black. She had kind brown eyes and a scar on her nose that looked very familiar to him indeed.

She gazed at him, and her head lifted. Her ears pricked towards him and she nuzzled her nose into his hand. He sighed, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw him turn his head away from her to look in the direction that Tseng had gone. He sighed again, and his free hand instinctively rose to rub at her nose and up between her eyes. She snorted softly, and rested a hind leg.

"Guess I'm stuck with you then." He sighed, and pulled his hand away when he realized what it was doing. She tossed her head in seeming agreement, and her ears swiveled round to take in the sounds around her.

He pulled on the rope, pulling her into a walk. As he walked along the stalls, he caught sight of all the different horses' heads poking out of their stall door. But none of them were as pretty as she was. Something about her was just so familiar.

"Oi! Williams!" He called. The brunette turned her head, and looked around at him. She smiled warmly, her eyes traveling over the mare's body.

"Ooh, you have a pretty one there!" She nodded in approval, and cocked her head gently, gazing at him before smiling again, "So, how can I help you?"

"Tseng's offloaded me onto you. I have to stick around here. So, I'll need the training."

"Okay. You'll be here for six months at least, learning to work with the horses. And you'll be training _her_ at the same time."

He gaped at her, and then looked at the horse again. She turned her head at the same time, and her muzzle brushed his nose. He batted her away, and the motion made her throw her head up and turn away from him again. Her tail flicked at the flies on her rump, and she pulled her head down, almost yanking Reno over with her.

"What is she?" He asked, and patted her neck. She looked dainty and very elegant, but she had a good build. Williams took the horse to settle her down, and Reno went home. An hour later, Williams faxed him.

_Friesian. 16.5hh. Grey/Black. 3yrs. Female. Good build and steady temperament. Suitable Mounted Unit Horse. Signed To Reno Sinclair._

Reno read through it and sighed. Being stuck on the Mounted Unit was bad news. He would have to get up early every day. That horse was now _his_ responsibility to look after. He would have to go down every day to sort her out.

"Maybe it won't be so bad, Dad? You know, this could be a sign. Mum LOVED horses. It was her idea to have the Mounted Unit anyways." The blonde haired girl piped up, sat beside him at the dining table.

When Sarjah had had a baby with Zack, she had suffered extreme Post-Natal Depression. During that period, she had had an affair with Reno. Lily was the result of that, but Sarjah had been put on Anti-Depressants and had been so much better at the time of her accident.

"I'm not sure." Reno murmured, and looked up at the picture under the wall mounted TV and sighed heavily. Sarjah grinned back at him, one eye squeezed shut as Lily's nose had been thrust in it, and her tongue lolled out of her mouth. Lily had a wide grin on her face, and the blonde hair blew across their faces and mixed with her mother's bright red locks.

He missed her. He missed her a lot. He missed working with her, talking with her. He missed being able to admire her, seduce her, flirt with her. He still loved her.

He stood, clearing up the plates and letting Lily run upstairs and into her bedroom to get her homework done. He cleaned up the dishes and sat at his laptop to start his research into the Friesian horse. He wanted to know what he was dealing with.

He stood by the stall door, looking in. His horse was lying on the floor, and was dozing quietly. Her ears flicked gently, pointing towards him as she heard him approach. She lurched to her feet, and stood up in silence. She lifted her head so her nose brushed his face and snorted gently, the air ruffling his bangs.

"Did Sarjah send you?" He asked quietly, ruffling her forelock and missing her muzzle very gently. She tossed her head up and snorted again, but rested her chin on the top of her stall door while he rubbed at her ears in a soothing motion.

"You seem willing to bond. That's got to be a good sign." Williams appeared beside him, and ran a hand over the mare's neck as far as she could go. She patted the white neck again, and looked up at Reno.

"Well. Might as well. This is probably some voodoo mind trick that Tseng's set up." Reno huffed, and ran his hand up the mare's nose, rubbing between her ears before dropping his hand. She turned away from them, and he watched as she inspected the hay and the sawdust.

"I think this'll be the making of you, Reno Sinclair." She said gently, and patted his arm gently, "Anyway. Get her tacked up, and meet me in the indoor school. I'll meet you there in half an hour."

She smiled sympathetically and walked off again. He watched her go, and turned back to the white horse that stood quietly in her stall. He slowly slipped in, and started with his hands on the top of her neck and worked his way down her body, and then back to travel down her legs and picked each one up in turn. She leant her weight over and obediently lifted up each leg as he asked.

He smiled, and patted her shoulder very gently. She swiveled her ear back again, listening to him as he spoke to her, but also kept speaking to Sarjah. He groomed the animal; working off the slight dirty patch on her side caused by her rolling out in the paddock, and offered her the bit when ready to tack her up.

She took it easily, causing him no fuss what so ever, and chomped on the metal he had in her mouth. She stood still as he braced the girth across her chest. She stood still as he did, accepting the weight on her back. She threw her head up, the reins swinging in front of her and trailing on the floor.

She stood still, and caught sight of the black haired male again. He was watching them, but she paid no mind to him. She tossed her head up in her impatience to get going, and Reno laughed as he caught hold of the reins. She set her chin on his arm, and he very gently started to stroke her forehead. Her ears swiveled to him again, and she snorted softly.

Tseng smiled. It was a good idea after all.


	3. Depressed

The months went past quickly, and soon, Reno was a fully fledged member of the Mounted Unit. The day went by in a blur, but he remembered ending up in his mare's stall.

He had changed. He had lost a lot of weight, not that he had the weight to loose. His hair was dull and lifeless, and spent most it's time tied back and hidden. He paled, and spent all his time at work. He missed Sarjah more than he let on. He hadn't been able to let go since their affair which had been ended by none other than Vincent Valentine who had always had it out for Reno. From then, he had always admired Sarjah from afar, and had persuaded her to let him have Lily. The girl looked so much like her Mother.

He had ended up naming her Spirit of Sarjah. Her nickname was Spirit. He adored her, and was surprised when he discovered how attached he had become. He looked forward to working with her. William's nicked the mare, every so often, and Reno never relinquished her willingly. She was _his_ horse. And he didn't like sharing. He hadn't liked sharing Sarjah with the SOLDIER Puppy, but he had no choice.

But on his first day, he sat on her back as proud as a new Dad. He wore cargo trousers, and a body vest under the white shirt and fluorescent jacket. He had his helmet on, flattening his bright red hair. She was causing a stir with passers by. Everyone wanted a pet, or a stroke, and to her credit, she took it well. She stood still, flicking her tail and swivelling her ears. A blonde woman and black haired male appeared, shielding their eyes from the sun as they gazed up at him.

"Reno! It's good to see you! It's been too quiet in the office without you." Elena breezed, and stared up at him. She cocked her head, and smiled.

"Well, I've been busy. Y'know, Mounted Unit and all." He muttered, almost bitterly.

"I have to say Reno, I am impressed. I didn't think you'd manage it. You can have your job back." Tseng announced, clearly expecting Reno to start crying and thanking him for his kindness. Instead, the red head tipped his head.

"No thanks."

Elena stared at him, the shock clearly written on her face, her blue eyes wide. If Tseng wasn't so stoic, Reno was sure he would've spluttered or cursed loudly. Instead, he swallowed his shock and nodded once.

"Why do you refuse your position Reno? I heard you were bitching that you thought I was being unfair." He said in his monotone voice, staring up at his old friend. Inside, he was freaking out. Reno was their best chopper pilot, and a damned good Turk. He couldn't afford to loose him, but he had never considered that his plan could backfire. His plans _never _backfire.

"I like it here. This is good fun. And it's a relaxing job. I don't know yo. This just seems to fit with me."

"Uh-huh. What have you named the horse again?"

"Um…Spirit." He looked down at Tseng's face, and rolled his eyes, "Spirit of Sarjah."

Tseng nodded, and walked off. Elena gave Reno a sympathetic wave, and jogged to catch up with Tseng before they returned to their "patch" where they patrolled for a few hours each day.

Reno sighed, patting the neck of his mare and glaring at them between her ears. Her coat seemed to have become brightened a lot, and seemed to glow. Her mane and tail were just a black, raven black, and she was still as gangly and leggy as she had been. She hadn't filled out like they thought.

She snorted softly, and a passing group of school girls stopped to take a picture with her and pat her neck. She took it in silence, seeming to know what they wanted and barely moved.

He nudged the girls aside, and squeezed her sides to ease her into a trot. She obediently launched herself into a springy trot, and let him direct her. He stopped her, and leant over to surprise the male he had been pursuing. Leaning out of the saddle, he reached out and gripped the back of the black haired male's collar.

"Zack? What the hell, yo?" He suddenly protested and the violet eyed male looked up at him. He looked so lonely and so depressed that Reno felt a huge surge of pity roll towards the male.

"What now, Reno?" He snapped, and pulled away from the Mounted Officer's hand. He jumped when the mare stuck her nose into his hands, but he instinctively found himself rubbing her neck and her forehead. She snorted softly, and nuzzled at his cheek. Reno could swear she understood the need to be sympathetic towards the 2nd Class SOLIDER.

"I just…I wanted to know how you were."

"Fine. Thanks for asking." He murmured, and stroked her forelock. She nudged him, thrusting her nose into his hands and nudging at his pockets. Zack actually chuckled and kissed the whorl on her forehead. She stood stock still, and allowed him to do so.

Reno slipped down, and took hold of the reins under her chin, but she didn't move. She stood patiently, ears swivelling to the sounds of the city around him. She pushed her nose against Zack again, and Reno handed him the mints to allow him to give her one.

"She seems to like you." Reno murmured, rubbing his hand down her neck. Zack smiled, and held his hand out flat. She snatched the mint off him, and tossed her head while she ate it.

"Sarjah owned a couple of horses. I even had my own." He replied and looked to the read head before gazing around the city. His dead fiancée was a touchy subject for him. His dead parents, he could talk about them until the cows came home. But there was no way he would willingly talk about the woman he loved so much. They had two children, twin girls. They lived in a very cute little house and had brilliant jobs each which meant they never had to worry about money. And then their peace and happiness was cruelly snatched away.

"How are the children?" Reno asked quietly, tenderly broaching the subject. Zack looked at the floor, and fiddled with the engagement ring he refused to take off.

"They're…they're not doing so well. They keep asking for Mummy, keep asking me when she's coming home. How can I tell them that she's _never_ coming home? They're five."

"You don't know she's never coming home. She went missing, Zack. Yes we found her blood, but we never found her body."

"Reno, don't. You need to let go. Stop clinging onto hope and face the facts. She's never coming back."

"That's what everyone thought about Sephiroth."

He watched the raven haired pup and the SOLDIER let his shoulders slump. Pain flickered briefly across his face, and he looked away from the Turk with a nibble on his lip.

"I named her Spirit of Sarjah."

"Yeah, I know. I saw it written on her door when Angeal sent me down. Sweet." He looked around and checked his watch, "You should rest Reno. You look awful."

Reno watched him as he walked away, and frowned. He lifted himself back into the saddle, and started to move the two of them forwards. It was a nice evening, but a cold one. He shivered into his jacket, and pulled the collar up around his face.

He kicked her into a fast walk, and the two of them hurried back towards the Shinra building. He was nearly at the end of his shift, when he could go home, and go out and just get himself trashed. Although he looked forward to getting laid, his senses were still on high alert, all though maybe he was a little more highly strung than usual.

She walked on quietly, and he looked to his right. A flash of dyed red caught his attention, and he turned her. But he slumped when he realised he was imagining things. He stared at the empty bus stop, and ruffled the mane in front of him.

He missed Sarjah more than he ever thought possible.


End file.
